Infinite Love, You grew our love
for each other and so many others.
Home for good in Greenbelt we welcomed 
transient family and overnight guests, celebrated
Judah’s first birthday at Greenbelt National Park.
Home with Jim usually at 4E Crescent but also
in Bethlehem PA, Blacksburg VA, at Penn State and Calvin,
we read the Couple’s Devotional Bible
from Grandma Evelyn and bedtime storybooks together.
With all the kids in our living room at Christmas
we wrote and gave one another notes of appreciation.
Home at DCCRC where Jean still worked and Duff 
was a deacon again we welcomed Norm and Barb Steen.
Daughter-in-Christ Jamima and her husband Suman
loaned us their clothes on our Ohio visit.
Son David and other family joined us in Chincoteague
on days following our first anniversary.


Dear One who makes all things new,
what joy to review that year full of newness!
Praying daily with Jim on phone or in person
Welcoming grandson Judah to heart and home
Meeting each other’s families and friends
Attending each other’s churches
Jean working as secretary at DCCRC
Jamima and Roseline free of oppressive live-in jobs
Valentine Day engagement 
L’Arche Story Theater at Potter’s House
Renewed devotion to Love Alive
  in Covenant Discipleship Group
  in barbershop trips with Dick O’Connor
  even in my left breast leakage
  medically unexplained
  sign of my bonding with baby Judah
What wonder to discover Greenbelt!
Finding 4E Crescent, moving there alone first
Our marriage at DCCRC
  and Chincoteague honeymoon crowned the year


Fifty dawned in lonesome mystery: 
if Jesus was my shepherd why did I still want?
How could I shepherd others without following the good shepherd?
Jubilee clues unfolded sometimes 
in Shalem prayer movement classes and walks,
in journal prayers with Nouwen’s book, Inner Voice of Love,
in noon prayer circle and monthly vigil at Festival Center.
But presence was lost in fog of impulse
identifying with or judging family, friends, clients, everyone.
Voice was drowned in multiple, ever-new scripts:
Daylines newsletter mailings, family letters;
Arts for Aging depictions of Grandma Moses, Eleanor Roosevelt, 
Harriet Tubman, Katherine Hepburn; Shakespeare acting class;
Call to Commitment dramatic reading, spiritual autobiography,
poems, prayers, even two sermons preached at Potter’s House.
Pregnant Jean did Calvin’s Oregon Extension;
Rhonda found a coauthor for In Their Own Voices;
Duff moved in with me for six months.
I sketched a word-a-week book for Mom’s 75th Birthday.
Sensing a new call, I started classes at Wesley Seminary.
Disappointed with “Spiritual Singles” events and people
I tried Single Adult Fellowship at McLean Presbyterian 
where Jim Gray caught my attention by showing up
for the time of praying for our children before Bible Study.


Was my life a charade? Who did I want to be?
For whom was I acting in Side Door’s fall show
or in Communion of Saints at Potters House?
Jean was a freshman at Calvin,
Rhonda finishing her Masters at Michigan State,
Christopher his Bachelor’s at Maryland.
Their absence and my parents’ presence was jarring at times.
It was You I addressed in all those journals
Mother/Father God, Brother Jesus, Holy Spirit;
You whose scriptures I wrestled with, pled by,
copied and posted on van and car dashboards.
You led me to the Simple Lifestyle Class,
Kerygma Mission Group, intern membership at PHC.
You showed up each day: I recognized You
in deer sightings, in seniors’ smiles,
in voices or writings, whenever I stopped showing off.
You nurtured my desire for a good man,
a friend, a companion and co-parent.